Jess’s story:
From self-doubt to self-belief, and growing into the leader she wants to be

When Jess first contacted me, she was bright, capable and ambitious - but she couldn’t see any of that for herself. She compared herself to everyone around her, always assuming they were better, smarter and more capable. Even when she objectively succeeded, her inner critic moved the goalposts instantly. She described it as an exhausting cycle of overthinking, doubting and shrinking herself in rooms where she belonged.

What she really wanted was simple but powerful:
to feel confident, respected and ready to step into a senior role.
To stop being the “nice” one who got overlooked, and to finally value what she brought to the table.

The early work: uncovering the roots of her confidence gap

We began by exploring her lifeline - a reflective exercise that revealed longstanding patterns she’d never consciously connected.

Seeing this mapped out was a turning point. She realised:

• she had spent years trying to please and prove herself

• confidence felt “arrogant” and almost unsafe

• she’d been seeking validation externally, because she couldn’t yet give it to herself

This was the foundation of everything that followed.

Building confidence from the inside out

Over the months, Jess committed to the work fully. She journaled often, noticing patterns, confronting her triggers and reflecting honestly on her thoughts. We explored her assumptions, and she uncovered the belief sitting quietly underneath everything:

“If I believe in myself too much, I’ll seem arrogant.”

Reframing this into something empowering was transformative. She began crafting a new belief:

“I have achieved a lot, and I can be confident without losing who I am.”

As she practised this, she started noticing her strengths. She volunteered for a high-stakes presentation she’d once have avoided. She prepared well, delivered with clarity and came out energised. Her manager noticed, and more importantly, she noticed.

Naming the inner critic

One of the most meaningful pieces of work we did was personifying her inner critic. She named this voice “Lucy,” after a negative childhood memory, and learned how to separate herself from it.

Lucy would whisper:

“Everyone is better than you.”
“You shouldn’t be that ambitious.”
“You’re not ready.”

Jess began responding:

“I am great.”
“I’m allowed to dream big.”
“I get to define my own path.”

This changed everything. The voice didn’t disappear, but it lost its power.

Leadership, relationships and finding her voice

As is typical for coaching of this kind, our coaching journey didn’t stay neatly in the “work” box. We navigated family challenges, moments where her inner voice spilled from work into her personal life, and periods where restructure at work triggered old insecurities.

Through targeted tools, Jess learned to step into other perspectives, communicate more clearly and separate her worth from other people’s opinions. Her confidence became more stable - not dependent on praise or project assignments.

Growing ambitions and a shifting career path

As her confidence grew, so did her clarity. She began putting herself forward for stretch projects, seeking management experience and shaping a development plan that felt exciting. She started interviewing externally and, even when she didn’t get a role, she walked away knowing it had clarified what she did want.

When she later discovered she was pregnant, her focus shifted again - not away from her career, but toward a version of it that worked alongside the life she was building.

We worked through scenarios for maternity leave, crafted a professional “slogan” for the leader she wants to be, and built a plan she could take with her into the next chapter.

Where she is now

Jess is still ambitious, but she’s grounded too. Confident and clear-headed. Less reactive and far less self-punishing. She trusts herself, speaks up and sees her own worth.

Whether she decides to stay at her place of work or take on something new, she’s stepping into that next stage with a strong sense of who she is.

Her words in a recent session captured it perfectly:

“I feel like I’m becoming the leader I always wanted to be.”